Footloose

hiya, bug!

you are one funny little girl, bug! lately, you are really into these pretty crazy dressup getups...and dancing. i've gotten some great video of you doing your own version of footloose while singing the alphabet song ;-) you are dressed in a grass skirt, shiny pink top, and a gold sparkly shrug over the top of that. oh, and you have ballet shoes on! even funnier is that you now insist on stripping down to your birthday suit before donning your dressup clothes. more than once in the last week or so, i've found you gallavanting around in your grass skirt with no panties on...i'm always surprised to see your little bum appear during one of your dance moves...gets me laughing every time.

recently you had the opportunity to visit with a friend you haven't seen in almost 2 years. you knew this friend from the time you were born until you were about 15 months old, and then she and her family moved away. it was AWESOME to see you two girls interact with each other. you both enjoyed a lot of time with the dressup clothes. i especially enjoyed seeing your friend all "grown up" since i hadn't seen her in almost 2 years. i get a little lost in the changes in you b/c i see you every day, but seeing the same changes in her was HUGE simply b/c i haven't seen her in so long.

we're having a great summer so far. we've had a lot of fun playdates, took a trip to boerne (you did AWESOME), and are preparing to head to MD to see your nana. you've made a couple new friends, and i am eager for you to have lots of playtime with them. there's a super sweet 5yo girl down the street that played with you so nicely yesterday...we will be having more playdates with her soon. you also met two little boys that are exactly your age. actually, each boy is either 6mo younger or older than you (they are nearly irish twins)...they are super sweet and fun. i can't wait to set up some playdates with them, too.

unfortunately, i have had to distance you from another friend b/c she seems to be teaching you some pretty unacceptable behavior. i've repeatedly attempted to explain our house rules to her and since she's almost 5, i am expecting her to be able to follow and respect those rules. but, it's not happening. i really didn't expect to have this kind of problem before you were in school. i'm shocked that it's already happening.

another shocker is the politics between 3yo girls. i am QUICKLY (or not quickly enough, maybe) learning that playing in groups of 3 is a bad idea for you right now. someone always gets left out. you have a good friend from school that doesn't like to share you with other children, and it's rubbing off. this was heartbreaking, but you snubbed your very best friend in the world the other day b/c this little girl from school wanted to play with you. i don't know how to direct this type of behavior in a more positive direction at this age. i have tried to gently talk to you about how it might feel when friends exclude one another, and you agree that it would not be fun, but putting that into practice is much harder. for now, my solution will be to make sure you are with just one good girl friend at a time. when you are playing with boys, this doesn't happen...again, i am shocked at how early these icky political games actually start!

i love you, bug!
-mommy

The Things You Say

hiya, bug!

i have been doing a pretty lousy job of telling you how well you communicate with us. not only do you make yourself very clear and show your curiosity, you are DARN funny. sometimes you mean to be funny, and sometimes you don't. it's the times you don't mean to be funny that i find the funniest! here are my favorites among the funny things you say:

may i have a danola bar, pease? (your pronunciation of granola bar kills me! currently, the l sound still escapes you.)

after bethfethst, after ni-night, what're we going to do today?! (you clearly understand the idea that you are referring to a new day, but you still use "today" to refer to "tomorrow". i LOVE the way you say breakfast and find ways to talk to you about breakfast often :-)

mommy, watch me make mewgwick! (this is how you said music until about a week ago...i suddenly realized that you were saying music correctly, and it made me a little sad. i also find it funny that you want me to watch you make music rather than listen to you make music.).

quinn/daddy/mommy! guess what? i yuv you! (this is your favorite "surprise" thing to say)

mommy! watch me do benactics! (this is how you used to say gymnastics...you recently started saying the word correctly, and it breaks my heart a little. your teachers at school used to like to get you to talk about gymnastics just to hear your pronunciation of the word.)

in general, you are such fun to listen to. i often get an idea about what you're most interested in, scared of, and worried about. i also often hear myself in what you say and how you say it...that's a truly humbling experience at times. other times, it makes it clear to me that you do undertand the relationship between unacceptable behavior and the loss of priviledges. this morning, you told copper he couldn't watch a movie tonight b/c he stole your waffle right off your plate. you also called him a bad dog, which bothers me. daddy and i are both careful to avoid using the terms "bad" or "good" to describe you as a person. we will tell you that your behavior is not nice or is unacceptable or is awesome or that you did a good job. it makes me wonder where the concept of good and bad is being demonstrated for you. i think the playground at school might be one place...you tell me about games that you kids play and conflicts that arise. i hear you call one classmate a bad boy pretty often...he is a trouble maker at school, and i wonder if he's being labeled as "bad". this is something i want to talk to your teacher about, but am not sure how to do so in an appropriate manner.

anyhoo, bug, you are pretty darn funny. recently, you had the chance to play with a centipede (yech!). you not only say centipede exactly correctly, but you made it clear that you knew centipedes can't jump and told me so, in no uncertain terms, after i told you that your centipede had jumped from my hand into the toilet while we were making a potty run. you gave me your stern eyebrows and told me straight up "mommy, centipedes don't jump!". i promise that i did not purposely launch the centipede into the toilet...nor did i try to keep him crawling on my arm (did i mention blech?).

i love you, bug!
-mommy

star rewards

hiya, bug!

you've been working hard on building up your star chart. you've had some days where we can't put any stars on for you, and then you've had days like yesterday where you got 3 stars in one day (you did so fantastic yesterday...it was a very long, hectic, and tiring day, but you did awesome with listening, following rules, and just plain doing a good job).

you now have enough stars for a trip...that was one of the rewards. in two weeks, you and i and quinn will be heading down to boerne to hang out, visit grammie and aunt kimmy, swim in the hotel pool, go to the ranch, play at burger king and various parks, feed the ducks on the creek, and possibly go to sea world if i can convince your brother and i feel strong/crazy enough to brave it by myself with two kiddos. i am so looking forward to this trip...i think we will have an absolute blast!

i love a good road trip, and i hope to develop the same love in you. you are always up for something different. you are very adaptable, and that's always been one of my favorite things about you. when you were just a baby, you were my best accessory b/c i could take you anywhere anytime and you thrived. brother is slightly different...he is definitely more comfortable with routine and familiarity, but he's still a pretty chill little dude. just not as chill as you were. you were peace personified as a baby, bug. we called you the zen Buddha baby...nothing phased you. you are still like that now...you just have some spunk behind the peace ;-p

i love you bug!
-mommy

soccer ball

hiya, bug!

i just have to tell you, baby, it looks like you might have some mad soccer skills in the future. you love to kick your soccer ball all around the yard...you even dribble it. you also like to kick it back and forth with me or daddy, and you're doing really well with stopping the ball gently and kicking it in the direction you choose. when you're not kicking with me or daddy, you like to kick it into a net. i can't wait to get you into a soccer program. we had originally thought we'd try this year, but i think we're going to wait until next year. there is just too much going on for you right now, and i think you need more practice following instructions/listening...otherwise, i think it'd be frustrating for you and possibly for your coach/team mates. of course, if we put you in now, you'd be in with a bunch of other 3yo that are doing (or not doing) the same things...so, maybe it wouldn't be as bad as i'm thinking. hmmm. maybe we'll revisit this idea in the fall.

we've been working on a star chart for you, bug, and it's working pretty well. we are purposely vague about what earns you a star, but we're careful to exhuberantly reward great behavior the minute we see it. you've earned a good number of stars. you are on your way to earning enough stars for a fun trip next week when school is out. you've also cracked the code, though, and when you pick up your toys or put your dishes in the sink, you inform us that you need a star now. we have to distract you from that notion, and after a couple minutes and a short discussion, you forget about it. we want the element of surprise and exhuberant positive attention to help steer you in a more positive direction rather than all-out simple/expected bribery. we're so complicated, aren't we?

i love you, bug!
-mommy

diapERs

bug, you landed in the dell children's ER last night! this whole diapers vs. panties and pooping vs. not pooping thing has caused some major, major upset. daddy and i are waving our white flag. you are back in diapers and will be for the foreseeable future. after finding some blood in places blood ought not be, your regular pedi's office told us to get you to the ER. you checked out okay, but after an xray of your tummy showed a lot of icky stuff that has to come out, they seconded the prescription for FOUR months of miralax and told us to expect to see more blood over the next few days/week. miralax is helping you get back where you need to be, but it is removing control from the equation (a good thing in this situation, yes?), so the diapes are a necessity. it breaks my heart to have to go backward with you and i worry about the emotional impact for you and for me, but we'll just take this whole thing one small step at a time, 'kay?

i love you my non-pooping girl!
-mommy

pokin' things

hiya, bug

for the last few months, you have been fascinated with what you call pokin' things. these include prickly weeds, poky caterpillars, cactuses, and now, apparently, your butt. or, more specifically, your poo.

so, you are in the throes of another incident of impacted bowel and all the horrible treatments it takes to remedy the situation. i had a lot of time to hold you close and talk to you softly yesterday as you went through the reactions to one of the horrid therapies, and i started talking to you about why things are going (or not going) the way they are for you in the potty department. you didn't give me much of an answer, and i let the subject drop. this morning, after another round of horror, i again was spending some time comforting you and talking to you quietly when i asked you again why you didn't want to go on the potty. you told me that your poo has pokin' things and it hurts, so you don't want to let it out.

hmmm. i guess this explains a lot. but, if you aren't going to let it out, you aren't going to let it out. you seem to have some amazing powers of control that no medication can dismantle (and i find this fascinating, yet frightening). daddy and i have decided it's time to move on to a professional or two that can help you in ways we cannot. we're looking for a child psychologist, and possibly for a GI specialist to make sure there's not something more sinister going on. it prolly sounds ridiculous, but i feel like this issue could have life-long health and wellness ramifications, and i want to get it settled/fixed/whatever now before you end up in emergency surgery for a twisted bowel or some other horror.

love,
your mommy who desperately wants you to poop (in the potty, please)

life lessons

hiya, bug

wow, it's been some month, baby. i haven't written since ippy went to heaven. up until that point, we had been in a really good groove together. we had seemed to have gotten over some of the humps that came along with all the changes in our world. we put you back in panties around the end of march, and you had been doing great. well, things change. you are using your panties as a weapon of sorts :-) you seem to be deliberately messing them or staunchly refusing to relieve yourself, causing much ado for both of us. it's not fun. you will have to go to the doctor tomorrow to face another round of horrible procedures b/c your tummy is once again in a terrible state. i hate this.

you also are back to having some challenges with listening and following rules. you seem to love to test the rules, which i think is perfectly normal for your age, but it's driving me to distraction. today was a pretty unfun day since almost all of your privileges disappeared by the end of the day. it wasn't fun for any of us, really.

since the weather has warmed up, we've been letting you ride your bike to the park while we walk. this quickly became a little game with you where you would tell us you were tired and wanted to be carried and have your bike carried home. not good times. we put up with it for a bit, and then made a rule that if you didn't ride your bike home, it stayed in the park for someone else to take home. you tested this several times, and much to my chagrin, we didn't stick to the plan 100%. we'd all walk a good 20 to 30 feet away, all the while making a big verbal deal out of leaving your bike, and then you'd go get it. the worst was when i took you and quinn to get pics in the bluebonnets behind our house. you were on your red bike, which is a classic radio flyer that weighs a good 20 pounds. i had quinn in the mai thai on my back. we got to the flower patch just fine, did pics, and then started home. it took us nearly 45 minutes to get home b/c you were playing all sorts of games regarding your bike. i made the mistake of making a big deal about leaving it and encouraging you not to.

you had a period of about 2 weeks where you shaped up and didn't even consider not riding your bike home....until this weekend with your big wheel. this time, we left it and didn't talk about it much. you had nothing to say at first, but now you keep talking about how you are sad to not have your big wheel b/c you decided to leave it at the park. i know you get it, but it still irks me/pains me to have to teach you this kind of life lesson. i checked today...sure enough, your big wheel is gone. we made a new rule this past weekend...the priviledge of riding to the park is gone...it's become clear that losing a fun toy like this doesn't impact you.

ahh, how i long for the days when you were my peaceful little dumpling, bug :-) well, not all of the time. you are a true delight in so many ways...you are funny, kind, and smart. i am spending too much time letting your qualities get overshadowed by the challenges you present me. i get bogged down in the details and lose sight of the big picture.

off to dig out of the details...

i love you bug!
-mommy